My migraines come not only from physical issues, swings in the hormone cycle, but also from longstanding—maybe even ancestral—patterns. One such pattern involves striving after perfection and doing that across diverse activities to ensure some security for myself. By security, I mean maintaining the ability to feed myself, literally by gardening and learning more about the soil and plants, as well as earning money to pay bills.
The pattern continues even though I know security of the sort we tend to think of doesn’t really exist. Until I am able to choose to free myself from these ingrained patterns, I probably will continue to have migraines, because that’s my body’s best way of helping itself and helping me. It does not mean there won’t be things that I will try: acupuncture, massage, flower essences, affirmations…all these can play a role.
But what’s really most important, not just for me but for anyone who seeks to heal, is to proceed with discretion, but without judgment. People constantly sabotage themselves with judgments, and one of the most painful areas where this takes place is the healing process.
From my observations, what works well for a lot of people is a disinterested interest. In other words, they are present and available to do and try different things, but there’s no accompanying, “I told you so,” if something does not work.
After all, at bottom, healing is about the union of opposites—the shadow and the light, as Carl Jung might say. The shadow represents the repressed parts we believe we cleave neatly from the rest of ourselves only to have them appear in not-so-pleasant ways while we cling to the light side of ourselves, all those traits we count as good.
Healing is about wholeness. It’s only when are able to begin fully loving ourselves that healing starts in earnest. That is a long road, but one that each of us is called to traverse in this life.
Can you think of ways in which your own healing process has been harmed by self-recrimination or enhanced by self-love?