Happy Transitions Year!

In Chinese medicine, every being goes through cycles of yin and yang, one mode arising as the other fades, always a little yang in the yin, a little yin in the yang. A being cannot be all one or other. YinYangAnd yet, for me, 2014 was a “yin” year, full of a delicious, nourishing inwardness, a pause that, with every passing month, became more pregnant with possibilities—an endarkened ripening, maybe like what a crystal feels as it grows within the Earth.

The year was marked by a lot of work done with a coach, especially around migraines and perceptions I’ve held—perceptions long ossified—since childhood; contact with archangels, thanks to this coach; the loss of some part-time work; the creation of possibilities for work on my own terms; and, most recently, the rather sudden death of my oldest sister, Teresa.

If I were in any frame of heart other than gratitude, I’d say that 2014 basically stunk, as far as years go. But that feels off to me. Because I’ve also grown closer to myself/my Self in this period, and I cannot think of anything more important, not just for me, but for anyone.

One of the biggest markers of change is the deeply felt, experiential knowledge that there are beings here to help us and we need not hesitate to ask. Like many people, I’ve always wanted to do everything on my own. If I couldn’t do something on my own, then there was something amiss with me. This thinking neglects certain realities, of course, namely that Renaissance-Womandom is a mighty hard, if not impossible, state to attain (at least in one lifetime), and the work involved exhausts resources that are probably better utilized in other ways. So, I’ve started to ask for help whenever I need it, whether it’s a particular physical ache or the onset of a state of mind or an encounter with activities or energies that don’t serve me or anyone else.

Something liberating there is in the asking—a reminder that I am not alone, that it is okay not to have to feel I have to know everything, be everything, do everything.

This year has also brought about greater awareness around priorities—what are mine?

I have found myself at mid-life homing in on some things I’ve always wanted to do, such as rug-hooking, but even moreso around ways I’ve wanted to exist: to embody such unconditional love that anyone around me feels safe enough just to be themselves.WoolenLeafinProcess

It is especially this feeling of unconditional love and the safety it engenders that has ticked up quite a bit in the last month, around the death of my sister, whose illness came as a shock to all her family and friends. She was an anchor for all of us, but it turns out, she was also a canary of sorts in our particular coal mine. Her death puts me on high alert: Can we create enough spaciousness within ourselves to let go of our judgments, our attachments to outcomes, so that no one ever feels paralyzed by the perception of constant scrutiny?

In that vein—and with this gift that my sister could give me maybe only with her death—I end this yin year with more questions than answers and the hope that the courses of action I take in 2015 will begin to light the path toward answers—ones that satisfy not only me, but many others as well.

How can we transmute what feels icky into love?

How can we best find peace at any time?

How can we create loving relations with all our relations—not only other humans, but also everything in, on, and around Earth itself?

How can we become adept at nonviolent communication?

How can we best practice nonviolence?

How can we set and lovingly maintain good boundaries?

How can we best tend the gardens of our thoughts and intentions?

How can we create vibrant, resilient communities?

How can we change our conception of time?

How can we best learn how to breathe in sync with Earth and with one another?

And, how can we heal the illusion we labor under that we are each and every one separate beings?

4 thoughts on “Happy Transitions Year!

  1. You are sharing many poignant questions that may take the rest of your life (and more) to find answers to 🙂 I’ve always found that when I was going thru painful periods in my life, that my compassion for others (and myself) deepened considerably, I softened more and felt less judgmental. Your questions remind me to remind myself….May the new year bring some answers to these issues, we all need to explore them.

    • I have to say that much of 2014 I was in this “softening” as you say, but my sister’s death has really pushed me further, because even though I may not have judged her outwardly, some of the gifts I gave her, I now realize, she could have construed as, “She thinks there’s something wrong with me.” I believe all people coming into a new consciousness around a particular issue often feel and behave like proselytizers. We just want to share our good news with everyone. But in our enthusiasm, we may forget not only where we were, but where they are. It’s good to be mindful of this. I wish you a very happy and health 2015, Annette. Keep sharing your lovely photos of this world-otherworldly place!

      • That is an ongoing dilemma – how much do we share with others, especially if they are sick and choosing a traditional path (and I don’t know what happened with your sister). One of my neighbors just lost his wife to a metastasized cancer, after chemo and burning. He had no clue that there were alternatives to what the doctors told them. I am wondering what to do now but I want him to stay healthy and not have to follow in her footsteps. How much do I say? I’ll be in touch with him and carefully assess where he is at emotionally, honoring his grieving process.

  2. I am sorry to hear about your neighbor’s wife, Annette. I agree with you about its being a dilemma — how much to offer, when, whether not to offer. There is always prayer, of course, and I believe, especially after a confirming experience that I had around my sister, that many people just don’t know, just are not aware, and not in any comparison sort of way, but if your knowledge of something is more developed, then that distinction instills such a heightened sense of compassion and it can sometimes provide some guidance — when that compassion is activated. I am becoming more and more mindful that sometimes people just need to be heard and that there is deep healing in the process of listening and being/feeling heard. In other words, sometimes you don’t have any words and you don’t have to have any…just ears and a big heart with which to listen.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s